The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured

The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured
    The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured are less caring than we were even thirty years ago In , Barack Obama said that the United States was suffering from an empathy deficit Since then, things seem to have only gotten worseIt doesn t have to be this way In this groundbreaking book, Jamil Zaki shares cutting edge research, including experiments from his own lab, showing that empathy is not a fixed trait something we re born with or not but rather a skill that can be strengthened through effort He also tells the stories of people who embody this new perspective, fighting for kindness in the most difficult of circumstances We meet a former neo Nazi who is now helping to extract people from hate groups, ex prisoners discussing novels with the judge who sentenced them, Washington police officers changing their culture to decrease violence among their ranks, and NICU nurses fine tuning their empathy so that they don t succumb to burnoutWritten with clarity and passion, The War for Kindness is an inspiring call to action The future may depend on whether we accept the challengePraise for The War for Kindness A wide ranging practical guide to making the world better NPR Relating anecdotes and test cases from his fellow researchers, news events and the imaginary world of literature and entertainment, Zaki makes a vital case for fighting for kindness If he s right and after reading The War for Kindness,you ll probably think so Zaki s work is right on time San Francisco Chronicle In this landmark book, Jamil Zaki gives us a revolutionary perspective on empathy Empathy can be developed, and, when it is, people, relationships, organizations, and cultures are changed Carol Dweck, author of Mindset."/>
  • Hardcover
  • 272 pages
  • The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World
  • Jamil Zaki
  • 10 November 2018
  • 0451499247

The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World➱ [Read] ➬ The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World By Jamil Zaki ➼ – Essayreview.co.uk In this masterpiece, Jamil Zaki weaves together the very latest science with stories that will stay in your heart forever Angela Duckworth, author of GritEmpathy is in short supply We struggle to unde In this masterpiece, for Kindness: Epub ß Jamil Zaki weaves together the very latest science with stories that will stay The War PDF/EPUB ² in your heart forever Angela Duckworth, author of GritEmpathy is in short supply We struggle to understand War for Kindness: PDF º people who aren t like us, but find it easy to hate them Studies show that we are less caring than we were even thirty years ago In , Barack Obama said that the United States was suffering from an empathy deficit Since then, things seem to have only gotten worseIt doesn t have to be this way In this groundbreaking book, Jamil Zaki shares cutting edge research, including experiments from his own lab, showing that empathy is not a fixed trait something we re born with or not but rather a skill that can be strengthened through effort He also tells the stories of people who embody this new perspective, fighting for kindness in the most difficult of circumstances We meet a former neo Nazi who is now helping to extract people from hate groups, ex prisoners discussing novels with the judge who sentenced them, Washington police officers changing their culture to decrease violence among their ranks, and NICU nurses fine tuning their empathy so that they don t succumb to burnoutWritten with clarity and passion, The War for Kindness is an inspiring call to action The future may depend on whether we accept the challengePraise for The War for Kindness A wide ranging practical guide to making the world better NPR Relating anecdotes and test cases from his fellow researchers, news events and the imaginary world of literature and entertainment, Zaki makes a vital case for fighting for kindness If he s right and after reading The War for Kindness,you ll probably think so Zaki s work is right on time San Francisco Chronicle In this landmark book, Jamil Zaki gives us a revolutionary perspective on empathy Empathy can be developed, and, when it is, people, relationships, organizations, and cultures are changed Carol Dweck, author of Mindset.


About the Author: Jamil Zaki

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10 thoughts on “The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World

  1. says:

    The War For Kindness is out in the world today, and it is a war The subtitle Building Empathy in a Fractured World is what got me We all know we should be kinder, we know that as a society, we are often impatient at best and cruel at our worst primarily online.Zaki has provided a primer of how all of us can grow in kindness, and he doesn t just say what he thinks The Appendix contains a proof of validity to every claim that he makes in the book The footnotes are extensive, and inside each The War For Kindness is out in the world today, and it is a war The subtitle Building Empathy in a Fractured World is what got me We all know we should be kinder, we know that as a society, we are often impatient at best and cruel at our worst primarily online.Zaki has provided a primer of how all of us can grow in kindness, and he doesn t just say what he thinks The Appendix contains a proof of validity to every claim that he makes in the book The footnotes are extensive, and inside each chapter, you ll find the narrative highly exciting and easily readable.This isn t a boring thesis on the subject it shows example after example of how we as humans rarely hate what we know It isn t just a book that says don t hate study after study shows that building empathy is a key to kindnessI especially enjoyed reading about the Changing Lives program where convicted felons are introduced to classic literature like The Old Man and the Sea in a discussion setting with the judge who sentenced them and the DA The discussions include an English professor, and upon successful completion, their sentences were shortened No one shared personal stories, but through the study of the circumstances and actions of the characters, the convicted men soon began to draw parallels to their own lives and times They gained empathy into fictional characters, and even that helped them as they struggled through their challenges At the end of the first year, 45% had not re offended There are dozens of other examples in the book ranging from ancient times to the present It is just excellent.I think this book would be great for a book club, or assigned high school, college reading It is my current go to recommendation for a nonfiction Summer read

  2. says:

    Every grade in K 12 should offer a class in Kindness Zaki teaches such as class at Stamford More than ever our world, our country, our communities, our schools, our families, ourselves need to learn the skills that support empathy, kindness, compassion Our wellness depends on it Every grade in K 12 should offer a class in Kindness Zaki teaches such as class at Stamford More than ever our world, our country, our communities, our schools, our families, ourselves need to learn the skills that support empathy, kindness, compassion Our wellness depends on it

  3. says:

    First, thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an advanced copy of this book.I had recently finished reading Sally Kohn s book The Opposite of Hate so I couldn t help but noticed the similarities between the two works Jamil Zaki is a psychologist and the tone of this book echoes that fact strongly While Kohn s book was many times conversational in tone, Zaki s book took on an academic tone from the start He references many empirical studies on empathy which can lead to kindness throu First, thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an advanced copy of this book.I had recently finished reading Sally Kohn s book The Opposite of Hate so I couldn t help but noticed the similarities between the two works Jamil Zaki is a psychologist and the tone of this book echoes that fact strongly While Kohn s book was many times conversational in tone, Zaki s book took on an academic tone from the start He references many empirical studies on empathy which can lead to kindness throughout the book While Kohn focused on combating hate within others and ourselves, Zaki focused on empathy and how we can influence it within ourselves and others and how it influences our behaviors Zaki s department studies empathy a lot so it s not shocking that the book revolves around this topic As the book progressed, Zaki divulgedpersonal experiences into the narrative and I felt that added apleasant reading experience when I can connect with the author My favorite part of this work was in the Appendices He went through every claim that he made in each chapter, including the introduction and epilogue, and rated the claim on the evidentiary proof or validity of the claim Most or all of books in the social sciences have a list of references or footnotes containing where information cited is found Zaki has this as well, but rarely do I read a book that provides this type of breakdown of his claims I wish all books did this to be honest I went in expecting this book to be uplifting and hopeful for the future of our society and it was in a way, but it is clear that it requires us to puteffort into making our future better I would recommend this book to fans of Kohn s book The Opposite of Hate and other books on the topic of kindness, empathy, combating hate, changing the combative discourse of the media and society as a whole and self improvement books This review is also posted on my personal blog

  4. says:

    Some really interesting insights in this book.

  5. says:

    You ve read about those studies that prove that empathy is malleable in which subjects primed with pictures of puppies and butterflies behavefavorably toward fellow humans You ve also probably grumbled in frustration at how pathetically short term and useless those studies are Zaki too he likens those to fast twitch muscles, the kind useful for sprints but not marathons Zaki is very much interested in the long run, and has devoted his research and book to the proposition that em You ve read about those studies that prove that empathy is malleable in which subjects primed with pictures of puppies and butterflies behavefavorably toward fellow humans You ve also probably grumbled in frustration at how pathetically short term and useless those studies are Zaki too he likens those to fast twitch muscles, the kind useful for sprints but not marathons Zaki is very much interested in the long run, and has devoted his research and book to the proposition that empathy is a muscle, that it can be trained and grown and encouraged With permanent effects He shows us some of the promising research on how best to do it, especially for those less likely to devote themselves to a life of meditative contemplation.He covers a lot of ground medical professionals, police, criminals Empathy in education, especially younger ages, yields disproportionately positive results Yes, he talks about morality and about the people who prefer to punish punish punish rather than be soft As one might expect from a compassionate writer, he tries to win them over with facts an approach which, I fear, is hopeless against authoritarian centered brains Even technology even social media technology, which he overwhelmingly blames for the exponential growth of discord this century has much to offer if we use it right.I was disappointed that he didn t talk about the role of hate based religions nor did he even mention any of the recent findings on morality e.g Haidt s work And I m discouraged, admittedly preemptively, that none of the people who really need to read this book will ever read this book Four and a half stars, rounding down because I m feeling dejected about the world right now, but even so please grab this book or borrow my copy We can all benefit and learn from reading it

  6. says:

    The future of empathy looks bleakAuthor Jamil Zaki, travels an engaging but expected path in The War for Kindness, investigating empathy a complex term he defines as sharing, thinking about and caring about the feelings of others Zaki describes the evolutionary role of empathy increasing collaboration, and therefore improving survival odds , the alarming lack of empathy in our current society which begs the question is lack of broad based empathy simply the human condition and shows how The future of empathy looks bleakAuthor Jamil Zaki, travels an engaging but expected path in The War for Kindness, investigating empathy a complex term he defines as sharing, thinking about and caring about the feelings of others Zaki describes the evolutionary role of empathy increasing collaboration, and therefore improving survival odds , the alarming lack of empathy in our current society which begs the question is lack of broad based empathy simply the human condition and shows how it can be learned as a skill and manipulated in the lab this last bit to underscore how, in theory, we could increase empathy to reduce strife Along the way, Zaki also tells some truly engaging stories that bring empathy to life such as how a former racist moved past his own hatred and a particularly gut wrenching section set in a neonatal emergency unit He is a talented and especially sensitive writer, but I was disappointed by the conclusion The final chapter, which feels light and unmoored from the rest, almost slapped on, suggests we owe it to future generations to beempathetic now It was a very unsatisfying conclusion Like religion, that requires some sense of an external greater good to use as a backstop Who determines the greater good How can we ever know what fictional future generations will think of our actions A corporate raider may feel perfectly justified in greedily widening the wealth gap because their sense of empathy assures them future generations will thank them for preserving capitalism, all the while stepping over homeless people Empathy is an imperfect tool that allows humans to do horrific things to each other it is tribal empathy that allows so many to brutalize and kill those in other tribes We need a framework that allows us to be empathic in the moment, not another weirdly forward looking faith based system that dangles the promise of a utopian future state to guide our actions.I liked the book, and recommend it, but the author and readers should think long and hard about a conclusion that feels misguided and perhaps even dangerous If empathy can be so easily dialed up or down, and can be used to justify some of our darkest actions, we should be focused on expanding the boundaries of those whose feelings we care about, not in the future.I would have given the book another star if not for the misguided final chapter that undermined for me a very engaging read

  7. says:

    Ignoring outsiders emotions makes it easier to oppress them Fiction is empathy s gateway drug It helps us feel for others when real world caring is too difficult, complicated, or painful Many of the students had been called bad guys for most of their life, and had scarcely been given a chance to be anything else Fiction revealed that underneath every crime is a person flawed but still deserving dignity Few are at greater risk of overdosing on empathy than caring professionals phy Ignoring outsiders emotions makes it easier to oppress them Fiction is empathy s gateway drug It helps us feel for others when real world caring is too difficult, complicated, or painful Many of the students had been called bad guys for most of their life, and had scarcely been given a chance to be anything else Fiction revealed that underneath every crime is a person flawed but still deserving dignity Few are at greater risk of overdosing on empathy than caring professionals physicians, social workers, therapists, teachers, and others who work with people in needThey are humanity s first responders, called to their work by a deep concern for others To run from pain would betray their core values But in empathy s trenches, those values can quickly turn into occupational hazards In our polarized era, norms weigh evenheavily against carePundits council that the other side is an existential threat Compromising with or even listening to outsiders is a form of treason Sometimes compromise is best served not by building empathy for outsiders, but by reducing empathy for insiders police may need to treat their colleagues withskepticism, acknowledging wrong doing even when it involves people they admire Adolescents confronts to each otherthan any other age group, and if other students don t care or worse, think kindness is for dorks working on it becomes suicidal When we fail to understand each other, it s often because we falsely assume our own knowledge or priorities will map onto someone else s

  8. says:

    Change your belief and you will change the path and projection of Empathy We live in a world in which it s no longer important to show compassion, love, mutual understanding, and respect.Rather hate, indifference, toxicity, and grandiose ego s have taken the world hostage in this new norm of communication and understanding humanity at large.Why While studies have shown that psychopaths lack empathy it s not impossible to change and alter their brain functions to beopen and receptive to the Change your belief and you will change the path and projection of Empathy We live in a world in which it s no longer important to show compassion, love, mutual understanding, and respect.Rather hate, indifference, toxicity, and grandiose ego s have taken the world hostage in this new norm of communication and understanding humanity at large.Why While studies have shown that psychopaths lack empathy it s not impossible to change and alter their brain functions to beopen and receptive to the idea.So then why are we still here talking about it To feel how a victim feels, to put yourself in their shoes, to live a life of suffering is this not how empathy is overcome Trade hate for acceptance, approval for humanity sake, dehumanization for welcoming discussions Empathy is a personality trait but it s also a choice.In order to increase empathy one must increase contact, communication, compassion, and acceptance Human need is infinite Media fostered compassion fatigue has resulted in a 40% increased in viewers exhaustion to bad news coverage.Overcaring is also a possibility with nurses, doctors, therapists, and psychologist in the well respected profession.A warrior mentality also is working against the police who see hatred first hand in an us v them rather than a community policing reactive approach to protection.Fear and anxiety have lead to domination and violence.This kill or be killed mentality must end All in all this is one fab read

  9. says:

    My 5 star Review of The War for Kindness by Jamil Zaki zakijam CrownPublishing TheWarForKindness While this book is mainly a textbook, filled with references to empathetic situations and individuals, I found it a fascinating 5 star read It offers a compelling argument that for our society to heal grow we must learn to empathize with fellow humans, increase our compassion and spendof our time socializing face to face As I hoped, it suggests radically decreasing the hours we spend on My 5 star Review of The War for Kindness by Jamil Zaki zakijam CrownPublishing TheWarForKindness While this book is mainly a textbook, filled with references to empathetic situations and individuals, I found it a fascinating 5 star read It offers a compelling argument that for our society to heal grow we must learn to empathize with fellow humans, increase our compassion and spendof our time socializing face to face As I hoped, it suggests radically decreasing the hours we spend on social media, since those interactions appear to parallel with an increased depression and feelings of isolation Highly recommended reading in today s world of senseless random acts of violence, ever increasing rates of teenage death by suicide and cyberbullying.I decided to post my thoughts and chose leave a review after reading the advance e copy of this book I received, courtesy of the Publisher via Penguin Random House s First to Read program Thank you Crown for sending this book to me and giving me an opportunity to read it before the publication date

  10. says:

    This book has been chosen for my speed reading essential reading project due to it being what I consider to be a light read Concise, basic vocabulary, no heavy terminology It delivers that which it promises through its title pros and cons, plus examples and some solutions in regards to empathy I feel like for somebody like me, reading books by or about Gandhi, Dalai Lama, or even Mandela might be aworthwhile investment since those authors have lived through sweat and blood the thing This book has been chosen for my speed reading essential reading project due to it being what I consider to be a light read Concise, basic vocabulary, no heavy terminology It delivers that which it promises through its title pros and cons, plus examples and some solutions in regards to empathy I feel like for somebody like me, reading books by or about Gandhi, Dalai Lama, or even Mandela might be aworthwhile investment since those authors have lived through sweat and blood the things they dare to preach However, I still think this book can be useful for the average person in their day to day affairs that are especially dealing with burnout and are seeking motivation to stay empathetic as well as for readers that are looking for something less intimidating,mild instead of seemingly overcomplicated manners to approach this topic The methods suggested are also pretty simple, but I think some of them can be highly effective depending on the reader s circumstances Not a terrible or completely wasteful read

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